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I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but sometimes…*takes a deep breath* this means I’ll want sex. That way I don’t have to pretend I’m interested in some guy’s travel photos or his mate’s pet cat or the totally amazing gap yah he took where he chilled with some monks. OK, so this method was hardly going to attract gentlemen. I immediately ruled this guy out, but messaged him back anyway. It was nice meeting you, I’ll be back in a few weeks, will drop you a line x’ Mate. He only had my first name and mobile number so it was unlikely he’d be able to track much more personal information down. So I got the hell out of there, ordered an Uber and headed home. I threw some things into a bag and ran out the door. I legged it down the street with Google Maps as my aide, while the cab driver spammed me with calls to ask if I was there. Before too long, I decided we were probably safe to move up to a room. Much easier than waiting for someone to send a dodgy GIF on Tinder then unmatch you for no reason. Without turning this into erotica, we moved from kissing to pretty much everything else. ‘Sec, I’ve gotta get this.’ I stared after him as he wandered into the bathroom and started shouting down the phone. ‘I can leave if you’ve got stuff to deal with,’ I said, trying not to laugh. I sat motionless for a few seconds, then burst out laughing.

You have to be really clear on that and set your boundaries accordingly. That only means you won’t be meeting the men you are incompatible with and that’s not really a loss. ’ I told him, and he said he was staying at a hotel with family 10 minutes’ drive away. ‘The lobby is cool to start with.’ That way I could leg it if he seemed like he was hiding a hammer in his jacket. I can get you a cab if you want.’ ‘Sure,’ I said, pulling on some decent clothes. Fortunately, the journey was short, and Rob said he was waiting outside the hotel having a smoke. ‘200 and something,’ he said, walking to the minibar. Before you think about his needs or what he needs to learn, where do you stand? However, my bias here is that a man who leads with talk about sex really isn’t interested in what you think.

I hear that you want to feel respected and seen as a woman. Is talking about sex off the table until the first date? I get that you want to educate him about what really interests a woman. If you’re not interested in a man once he brings up sex too early on, have a good standard response ready, one that reflects your boundaries.

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